Okay, we've known about Ben's deafness since shortly after he was born. And right from the start, it was, naturally, a Concern and a Source of Anxiety. Meaning that we were (and still are) often concerned and anxious about his well-being and his future, on account of his being deaf and all. Now, almost 21 months later, we are very excited that he is developing so well, and this has relieved many of our concerns. But not all of them.
And you know what? I'm allowed to be concerned. It's okay. And most of my concerns are well-grounded and completely rational. And it's not the same stuff that all parents go through. It's just not.
I bring this up because frequently, when I voice these concerns, I am given the fairly explicit response (by people who are trying to reassure me -- and themselves) that my concerns are groundless, exaggerated, needless, counterproductive, or that what I'm dealing with is just a normal parenting thing, rather than a deaf parenting thing.
Yes, most of what we deal with on a daily basis is normal parenting stuff. And yes, even parents of typical kids face the fear of the unknown, and the typical kid today could suddenly go deaf tomorrow (or get cancer or get hit by a car -- y'all know the sorts of scenarios that play through our parental heads). Yeah. But (I always want to say in response) your kid isn't deaf today, and almost certainly won't be tomorrow. Mine is. And it is an issue, thank you very much. And I am permitted to consider all aspects of this fact, including the less-than-rosy ones, to keep an eye out for possible problems and to try to trouble-shoot problems when they arise, to think about the future and to consider ways of handling problems down the line. And I'm not being self-indulgent or self-pitying or obsessive when I do this. I'm being a concerned, watchful, practical parent of a child whose health and well-being are my biggest responsibility. Thank you very much.
Just a little vent. Hope you don't mind.
"I Cannot Even Smile Here"
3 months ago